please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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