Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
