I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
please come you make the beer taste better
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
