Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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