So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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