I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
handjob tips. give me some.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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