did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
