fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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