I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
