from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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