____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I am puke
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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