Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think weed is turning my hair brown
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
