And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
