my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
