I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
