Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
