Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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