I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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