Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize