I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
found the other keg... it's in the tree
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
