my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
