I must be too annoying 4 u.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I pour the whiskey from now on
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
