Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
