He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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