PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
