i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
