he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
