Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
