got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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