My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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