real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i think i just lost a toe
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
