Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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