BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
