I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
