So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
