Having a random hookup so left but love u
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
