it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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