I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
