I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There r osticjed everywhere
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
