4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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