Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
