Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
porn star boner night. come get it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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