'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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