if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
there is glitter all over my balls
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