If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
