Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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