i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
