Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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