Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have already put on my inside pants.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
