We should be called the Road Head Warriors
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
