you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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