Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
