I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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