Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is Oprah even human
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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