I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
