Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
