the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Acid is not a monday night drug
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
