Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
