I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
