so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize