He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
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Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
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it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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