I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
