girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
