Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
