but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
