do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
