I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Welp...herpes.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
