i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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