I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
