he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize