I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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