The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
